I was really hoping to keep him home until he's feeling better. I think he is getting better but I'm not sure. It's hard to tell. For my own health, I need to get out though. I hope that doesn't make me a bad mom. I just feel like I can't breath. We'll breath together tomorrow.. on the road somewhere.
****That was from yesterday... or the day before. It's hard to tell lately. The days just mash into themselves. Some days are good, some are hard, some are overwhelming with the feeling of, god I can't get enough of this kid... He's still sick and I feel so helpless. I may call the doc tomorrow if tonight isn't any better. He slept 4hrs last night and then was up every 2 and then this morning was so fussy and sort of in an out of sleep that I brought him in bed with me and just watched him sleep/fuss. Poor kid. I can't even imagine how bad it sucks to not be able to blow your nose.
So the whole sick thing is driving me crazy. That and my husband gets home and it's dark and I feel like we should all go to bed even though it's only 5pm. I hate daylight savings time. Sucks. Makes you feel all screwed up inside. And it makes me feel like I have all of 10 minutes to spend talking with Babe before it's time to go to bed.
Things have to change, that's for sure. This baby will get better, he'll go back to being that easy baby and sleeping good... Babe's going to have to take more time with him. I'm going to have to let go more. I'm new at this. I'm still learning.
So, I gave L a bath, hoping that the heat in the bathroom would open up his sinuses... While holding him, undressing him... he puked down my shirt. :) That's love baby.
And in more important news, I missed ETK's birthday. I didn't miss it in MY mind, but in hers, i'm sure I did. I thought about her. Tried to remind myself that I need to call her or email her, but I forgot. I have no brain. I'm an idiot. And to make me feel even worse, I get a package in the mail from her. A wine glass.. Mommy's Pacifier. Perfect. I love it. She's so damn thoughtful See, this is TWO birthdays in the past week that I've been LATE getting on. Dumbass girl. God I have to work at being a better friend. See, to me, birthdays are just so-so. I don't care if people remember mine. So it's hard for me to put such a high level of importance on birthdays. But they're important to everyone else so... that makes me a shitty friend. With puke on her boobs. Dayum I'm one sexy bitch.
Hopefully my pictures make up for not being as thouhgtful as she is!
"Okay, it was funny for a minute. Mom, please take the socks off my hands. I promise not to scratch my face!"
I never get tired of these pics... 
And some pictures of my pathetic, sick, just washed and not combed hair, broken out face little man... poor fella
You're so cute. You just made me cry for making you feel bad for missing my birthday, though. Well, maybe it's the PMS. :) Who knows.
Don't worry though - you gave me exactly what I wanted for my birthday anyway. More pictures of L. I hope you like the wine glass. I was pissed that Amazon wouldn't let me gift wrap it or even include a note! I wanted you to know that I saw it and just couldn't stop thinking about you and how you love your wine! :) The "where's mommy's bottle" got me.
Anyway, I'm sorry you're having a rough day or hour or whatever it is. I'm always here to talk but I don't call cause I don't want to infringe on your L time. :) K?
Love you!
Awwww ( she says as she snifs and wipes her eye leakage)...I get it lil one....I know exactly what you're dealing with. It'll get better. There's just so many adjustments to be made. You've just embarked on a life altering experience complete with irregular hormone fluxuations. That's all...LOL !!
However, I will say that you and Babe need some "grownup time"...hopefully with L being looked after by a competent sitter ( insert squinched up nose face)....because....and bare with me here cuz I'm gonna go out on a limb and remember back to what I went through.....You and Babe aren't just parents now that L is here, you're still tweb and Babe..ubber cute couple extrodinare, who need a date night to reconnect. And time to talk w/o wee interuptions. I think L will appreciate it too. Remember, Babys pick up on Mom's emotions...good and bad....
And, while I'm on my soap box...did you get a pump? Try expressing some yummy grub...it can be stored in the freezer...and let Babe feed him. It will be a great bonding time for the both of them.
Ok, I'm done.
It's just that I can so feel what you're going through.
Help Babe to help you....k?
Men need so many instructions don't they?!
;)
xo
p.s.........lovin' the pix!!
I love you guys. :)
ETK, that wine glass came in this cool red tube which was plenty of wrapping, if you ask me. Had decorations and what not on it. Thank you, I love it! I do love my wine and have had a couple glasses since L was born. Nice to have a glass at dinner and not feel TOO terribly bad that I'm drunking up my kid!
TT - thanks for the advice. It's really hard because L is sick. he's got a cold and is miserable. I do see a light at the end of the tunnel though. The sleep patterns are indicating that he may be getting back to his normal routine, which is GOOD, even if it is sleepijng in 2hr intervals at night. I can handle that.
I do have a pump. Only problem is that I don't want to pump just yet because I don't think the tahtah's have "regulated" yet and I don't want to confuse them into thinking I need MORE. There's already a "heavy flow" issue that L struggles with. Poor kid!!! I think I'm going to wait until 6 weeks, IF I can hold off that long, to pump. In which case, I WILL be letting Babe do some feeding! He knows he's getting off light for now!