Everybody Loves a Monkey

Things I've learned, heard, figured out or experienced in the past 6 weeks:

• Never thought sleeping for 3 hours would feel "refreshing".
• Half showers (washing just your body or your head in the sink) count as being "clean".
• Being pooped/peed on... not such a big deal and certainly not gross.
• The sight of poop makes me clap my hands.
• No matter how angry I am at Babe, a smile from my son makes me forget how to be mad.
• I can scarf down dinner in 12.7 seconds... unless I'm at home in which case I can multitask - fork in one hand, baby on boob in the other hand. Piece of cake.
• A mocha in the morning and the promise of a good glass of wine at night, can pretty much get me through the entire day.
• The idea of peeing with an infant strapped to my chest seems normal.
• I can't stand still... when Logan is in someone else's arms, they rock him back and forth... I rock back and forth as if I'm holding him. I do this in the grocery store with the shopping cart...any store with a shopping cart actually...
• I'll change the kid's clothes 6 times a day... because he keeps spitting up on himself (no shit sherlock, this is what he does..he's a BAYBEE)
• I'm not doing this again.
• Having a starbucks 2 miles from my house is great... and yet, I drive all the way across town to go to the one with a drive thru... every.day.
• I can eat what I want, when I want... because I'm the mom. Brownies for breakfast? Sure. Ice cream for lunch? Absofuckinlootly. Wine for dinner? You gottit!!!
• I can't remember how to make anything for dinner other than Taco's and take out.
• 6 week pp checkup today... skinny bitch here... 128lbs. Fuck yeah, I'm a sexy bitch with spit up on my shirt, dirty hair and a baby stuck to my bewb. Sexayyyyyy, uh huh.
• Farewell my dear dear maternity jeans. You have been good to me over the past couple months but now, you make my ass look like a couple of soggy pancakes wrapped in a paper towel. Out you go, back to my pre-pregger jeans. yes, this means my scar is pretty much pain free at this point.