Everybody Loves a Monkey

1. Said EBF thinks that getting married to another crazed party goer is a good thing for her. She's 30. He's probably the same age. She has a 4yr old from a previous relationship, he's got a 2yr old. Not sure if he's been married already or not. So, two completely irresponsible people, getting married...and plan to have another child. I'm not so sure either of them can take care of the current ones they have so I'm not exactly sure what they're trying to accomplish with adding another child to this world. Maybe it's the novelty of it all. And this is the girl who wouldn't go near babies..hated them, never wanted children. After having her first, she changed. In more ways than one. People can only hope and pray for her and her kids.

2. Dinner last night with two friends. One, who we shall call C, has a daughter, S. Well... S is mid 30's and well...she's done pretty much nothing with her life. Which is fine, if that's what you're shooting for, but now, she's gotten mixed up in some serious craziness. C cares a great deal for her and although I don't fully believe she was the best mom that she could have been to S, I think she cared enough for her, loved her enough, to make up for it. Now, she caught S hooked on some serious drugs. It was just the beginning. She "confiscated" her daughter, took her away from that world and hoped to get her clean and kick her lazy ass into gear. Well, that worked for a couple months until she fell back into that world. Now, it breaks my heart to see the eyes of C well up when she says, Hi, I'm doing great, but S is hooked on Crack. I have no idea where she is, but I do know she's wanted for felony offenses. People can only hope and pray for S as well.

It's funny how other peoples worlds intertwine in your own and you can easily veer off on random thoughts and feelings. I'm going to have a son in a couple months and I'm hoping that I will be a better mother than any I've ever met. Ever. We all make mistakes. Sometimes just plain stupid ones too. I plan to make a few of those. I can't wait for him though. I can't wait to send him off to school on the bus for the first time -and of course turn around crying because it's just going to be sooo difficult to handle! I can't wait to see him graduate high school or get that letter from the college he really wants to go to, telling him he's been accepted. He'll probably go crazy hugging jumpign up and down to accidentally break something in the house. Perhaps a lamp...who knows. I can't wait. I cant wait to see him whoop his dad's butt in soccer...just cuz Babe's gettin a lil too old (at 60) to keep up with the kiddies. I can't wait. I can't wait to see what kind of a difference my son makes to this world. Not just for me or for Steve... For anyone he touches.

And then after he gets out of college, maybe I'll have another... uh, ha, probably not!! I've been thinking lately that more would be selfish. I'm not sure I even want to venture down that road. We'll see how this one goes. :)

Hoping... I'd pray, but that religious thing just hasn't really struck me. Higher being? Possibly. But I don't need to pray to him. He gets me. Or she gets me. Probably a she. If it were a he, I'd be in trouble...cuz chicks is crazy. :)