Everybody Loves a Monkey

around here at work. Here's the deal... My guys: There are 5 of them. They used to work in our corporate office downtown. Well... they don't really "play well" with others as in, they like to wear jeans and drop the f bomb whenever they want. They don't want to have to conform to the man's rule of 9 to 5. They do their jobs, they're good at it, they produce like the best of them (they are the best in this company) and people leave them alone. SO they moved out of that atmosphere, into their own "home". And here I am, the one girl that has stuck with these guys for almost 5 years. I can handle the harassment, the jokes, the politically incorrect environment and get them what they need whenever they need it. Now, I don't run coffee or dry cleaning. I don't type letters or sit in front of the door to greet guests. But I do pretty much run the office from an administrative stand point. I order all the supplies, whether it be Pencils or computer stuff. I make sure all of the machines are working, I make sure the nasty stinky english guy replaces all of our dead rent-to-kill plants. I deal with our office building and parking issues if there are any. I do it all. They called me the Office Manager. And then they gave me closings. So now I am a part of the deal process. Someone wants to refinance a $30M strip center, the guys deal with all the ingredients and I'm the mixer/baker. I make sure attorneys on the borrower and lender side get along. I make sure reports are run to ensure that dry cleaner doesn't have a chemical issue and that the building is stable and won't need any major repairs for the next 20 years. I gather documents, I record transactions, I try to put together a clean file on these deals....

But I answer to no one but my guys. It's the way it has worked for the past 5 years. Now, no one in the company has any idea what my "title" is. Closing Coordinator? Production Assistant? Office Manager? Yes, to all 3. Problem is that all three of those titles answer to different people and not one of them is here in this office. But still, I answer to no one but my guys.

Still, every year, this becomes an issue. Review time. Ugh... someone's got to put together a review for me but not one person outside... or even perhaps inside.. my office has a clue as to what I do, how well I've been doing it and how to improve it! So when review time comes, I'm contacted by usually 2 different people looking for my goals and objectives. To me, a joke. For the first 3 years I did this, I literally copied the girl who worked here before me, copied her old reviews and turned them in... and that was that. Last year, I actually put one of my goals as "To decorate the reception area, to welcome clients in a warm manner." Yes, I'm serious. I did it as a semi joke, and they accepted it.

What a joke, right? I think the deal is that they don't know how to attack this beast of a position. They can't reprimand me unless they wrap their minds around what it is I do and no one is willing to dig...and I won't let them dig.. to figure that out. Job security? I don't know. But every year, they get frustrated because no one knows how to deal with my position. And I have to put together a fake review, have my guys sign it and comment on it... to which they put absolutely RIDICULOUS comments on, and turn it in to the numerous people downtown. Hell, they had me redo my review 3 times last year because it was on the wrong positions form. Uh.. the third time I told them to go to hell (in fewer words) and never did it. I think they're afraid of this office and the wrath of my guys...they protect me as if I'm theirs and they don't want to share. Their little secret weapon.

I'm guessing that ppl are tired of not having a leash on me. Corporate has control of most people in this company, my office is NOT part of that. They'll start with me.

We'll see how that goes.

This is what it looks like outside right now:

Nasty dark.. and it's only 2:30