Everybody Loves a Monkey

So there's a girl. She's been trying to get pregnant for like a hundred years. It makes me sad. I don't even know this girl, she's a frequent flyer on one of the baby boards I used to visit when I was pregnant. I swear, some women try so hard to get pregnant and when it doesn't happen for them, they become obsessed with it, making it their life's mission to get knocked up.

And here I am, feeling awful for this girl, who clearly wants nothing more than to be pregnant...and I don't want to even think about having another. I love the way things are now and really, having a kid is extremely strenuous on your relationship. I can't imagine anyone saying that their relationship didn't suffer after having a child. It's so hard to keep up with both worlds, baby world and trying to spoil your husband as you used to. I'm guilty of slacking in this department. I'd like to think Babe understands but really, I see that he's pouting inside. And I feel crappy for that and have tried my hardest to change that. I'm just so tired.

I went to sleep at 11 last night. I just can't do that. How sad, huh? Seriously, I need to be in bed after I put the monkey down, around 9:30 - 10 or I'm a mess. Then again, I AM the one getting up 2 or 3 times a night to feed the lil man so I guess I have that as an excuse. But still, I don't feel like there really is an excuse. I need to focus and do better job of "allocating" my time. :) It IS getting better, but it's a slow process.

I can't help but think that this girl, who is trying harder than anyone I've ever met, to get pregnant, will some day end up pregnant... and have a child. Then what will happen to her marriage? I hope they have a stronger bond than most couples that go through this have. Being the chatty cathy that I am, I've spent a lot of time on chat boards, researching pregnancies, miscarriages, babies, toddlers, daycare.. you name it... and I've seen relationships go from girlfriend/boyfriend to marrieds to pregnants to babies to divorce. The relationship just can't handle the strain of a child. It's a HUGE commitment. I don't think most people realize that before they go into it. And for those that think having a child will "keep" their man or "fix" their marriage... well shit they should be committed. Seriously. Lock em up and throw away the key, you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. Period.

All in all, as bad as it may sound, it's good to have a little eye opener to your world. Someone to put things into perspective. Just a little clip of what could have been and what you should be thankful for.

I love you because:

• Your neck always smells like milk, except right after a bath
• Your butt is always a soft shade of pink.
• Hiccups = as common as the sunrise.
• Your accidental smiles are almost as amazing as your "on purpose" smiles.
• Can anyone say, cutest yawn on earth?
• Karate hands - can't quite control them yet, can you?
• Your "holler" as if you're trying to talk.
• Watching you wake up in the morning gives me enough to make it through even the crappiest of days.
• You fall asleep in my arms as if you're a part of me.
• Trying to walk at 3 months old. Overachiever.
• I can't imagine my life without you. :)

• The way Logan smells like you after you've held him for a bit.
• You take care of things like yard work without having to be asked to do it.
• The way you remind me that the small stuff should never warrant sweat.
• I love the things you do that drive me nuts. What would a relationship be without those?
• That whole fairy tale thing you're providing... pretty cool.
• I know that you would do anything for me at the drop of a hat.
• We travel so well together.
• The fit issue.
• The way you make me feel safe, always.
• David Gray.
• You ask me how you look before leaving the house every morning. My answer, SEXY.
• When you realize you are snoring... you turn it down to a quiet snore, as if that's better. :)
• I can't imagine my life without you. :)

I love you because you're you.


Even the way you've "copywrited" this hold on our son and the way you lay on your daddy so comfy, makes me love you more than I thought possible. Mwwwaahhh!